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About Deviant Artist Dean: The mad slapper of 5Male/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 14 Years
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Statistics 268 Deviations 4,116 Comments 25,420 Pageviews

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Shark Attack by happygoatguy Shark Attack :iconhappygoatguy:happygoatguy 10 0
Mature content
Props :iconhappygoatguy:happygoatguy 4 13
Hot Slots
I wouldn’t say I’m sexually attracted to my dorm’s card reader, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t get a certain charge from it. All doors into the old brick building are unlocked by swiping your student ID through a reader next to the door. They’re small grey boxes with a keypad, a small LED display, 3 indicator lights (green for open, red for not and yellow for error) and a long, deep chasm with a magnetic strip reader. The west door is particularly finicky. She never opens on the first swipe unless you do it just right. If you don’t have that touch, she won’t let you in until you’re almost tired from swiping your card.
We’ve experimented, she and I. Once in a while she’d let me in with one swipe, just to tease me. Tricky girl. I played around with her slot, swiping my card in and out of her at varying rates. It turns out she likes it slow. You can’t just throw your card through and hope to get in. It has to be gentle and s
:iconhappygoatguy:happygoatguy 29 24
Rolling. They don’t use that word anymore. It used to mean that the film was rolling. It happened before the action started. The action started when the director said action. It was a very effective system. Now they say recording, because the cameras are digital. The film is now a condensed magnetic strip and, for small time movie makers, there’s no one who yells action. They just start, so you never know when the action is going to begin. No one ever says cut, so the action could go on to forever.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” the producer said. “Each team will must be back in this room in twenty-four hours with or without a completed movie. No late entries, under any circumstance, will be accepted.”
Tyler threw a sideways smirk at Nick, who looked down and smiled.
“Now the fun part.” The producer said, “Each movie must contain the following: A character named Carl Stemlock, a copy of the Goldshire News Post and the line ‘I never thought she
:iconhappygoatguy:happygoatguy 13 22
Deijin by happygoatguy Deijin :iconhappygoatguy:happygoatguy 0 3 Newest desktop by happygoatguy Newest desktop :iconhappygoatguy:happygoatguy 0 5 Ambush Street by happygoatguy Ambush Street :iconhappygoatguy:happygoatguy 5 11 The worm OF HOPE by happygoatguy The worm OF HOPE :iconhappygoatguy:happygoatguy 3 8 Partay by happygoatguy Partay :iconhappygoatguy:happygoatguy 0 8 Iron Bird by happygoatguy Iron Bird :iconhappygoatguy:happygoatguy 5 9 ROBOT DANCING GO by happygoatguy ROBOT DANCING GO :iconhappygoatguy:happygoatguy 14 26
“Well, today he’s actually gone.” Jeff said with a heavy sigh. He sat down on the large, black couch next to his brother. A moment or two passed before the silence was interrupted by the entrance of the Cliff family dog, Rupert. “Well at least you’re not dead yet.” said Jeff with a laugh.
“Not funny.” Said Peter, leaning his head back. The room suddenly got colder.
“Sorry, just trying to… you know…. trying to lighten things up.” Jeff began to fiddle with his bow tie, Rupert rubbing against his legs. “What time is it?”
Peter slowly turned his head toward Jeff then toward the clock dangling diagonally on the bare wall across the room. “Eight,” He said. “And you’re getting dog hair all over Uncle Tom’s tux.”
“Oh, right.” Said Jeff standing up. He brushed the dog hairs from his leg as Rupert happily took his spot. “Hey now, not on the couch.”
Peter lay his hand on the dog
:iconhappygoatguy:happygoatguy 2 10
St. Kitties Holiday Showcase
The cat runs a small shop down a street called, "St. Kitties Holiday Showcase" Charlie is not a saint, a performer, and has the utmost contempt for holidays, yet the name stands. Charlie spends most of his time napping on the counter, waking every so often to sell trinkets to those who enter his store.
An elderly man by the name of Hank is among the few with the privilege to be called regulars to St. Kitties Holiday Showcase. Most "regulars" spend their time roaming the unending depths of aisle and halls of Charlie's shop.  Usually, Charlie naps through the whizzing and popping of his customers trying his wares. Hank is different. When Hank comes in, Charley doesn't nap. He watches Hank browse only the front showcases as he smiles the same broken smile he had since he jingled the entrance bell nearly thirty years ago.
The ring of Hanks entrance is somehow different than the others. The strangely hypnotic noise forces one of Charlie's eyes open to curiously watch this gentlema
:iconhappygoatguy:happygoatguy 2 11
Let It Lie by happygoatguy Let It Lie :iconhappygoatguy:happygoatguy 0 24
Dear Diary
Dear Diary,
I ate a sandwich today. I realized for the first time that one does not use a spoon to eat them. I was at the deli and I ordered my usual, a turkey breast with salmon, bacon, and teriyaki sauce, sat down and began to eat, spoon in hand. The man next to me turned and said, "You know… You don't use a spoon to eat sandwichs…"
This blew me away. All that I had known: destroyed. My world became swirling mist of the unknown. Every fact I thought I knew suddenly came into question. The way of the universe died that day.
The man grew concerned about the glazed look I had while I was shaking uncontrollably in my chair. I snapped to, spoon still in my grasp. Then I stabbed him with it. A lot.
Thanks for ruining my day, asshole.
Dear Diary,
Today was unusual. I went to the super market and the cashier winked at me. I mean, it's good to be winked at by such a beauty of a person, but I didn't think it was very appropriate. Flattered, I gave a small sign of rejection, whi
:iconhappygoatguy:happygoatguy 1,452 447
Rejected logo by happygoatguy Rejected logo :iconhappygoatguy:happygoatguy 1 12


TF2: Select A Class... by ghostfire TF2: Select A Class... :iconghostfire:ghostfire 2,169 370 Columpio. by faboarts Columpio. :iconfaboarts:faboarts 11,684 852 The Arbiter by jaxxblackfox The Arbiter :iconjaxxblackfox:jaxxblackfox 1,393 301 Day at the Beach by lhs Day at the Beach :iconlhs:lhs 334 81 christmas fox by chibighibli christmas fox :iconchibighibli:chibighibli 4,377 328 Perfect, Let's roll with it by AndrewDickman Perfect, Let's roll with it :iconandrewdickman:AndrewDickman 74 55 Class E - Geo Metallic by Burning-Liquid Class E - Geo Metallic :iconburning-liquid:Burning-Liquid 312 121 outside by aiRaGe outside :iconairage:aiRaGe 351 94 The Icarus Trilogy by alyn The Icarus Trilogy :iconalyn:alyn 966 180 Eppiphane Overpass by D-V Eppiphane Overpass :icond-v:D-V 172 68 Break Dancing 02 by D-V Break Dancing 02 :icond-v:D-V 411 122 Wolves Bus ride by MathieuBeaulieu Wolves Bus ride :iconmathieubeaulieu:MathieuBeaulieu 2,370 582 You Know You're Obsessed When by cricket88x1 You Know You're Obsessed When :iconcricket88x1:cricket88x1 8 20 vaccinationscar by crazylynx vaccinationscar :iconcrazylynx:crazylynx 2 8



Dean: The mad slapper of 5
United States
Current Residence: Maryland/ WVU
Favourite style of art: Vector
Operating System: OSX
MP3 player of choice: iPhone
Wallpaper of choice: Changes often
Skin of choice: Reptillian
Personal Quote: "What the fuck is 'WTF"
Hey guys!

Sorry for not posting anything at all, but I've been busy as all get-out and frankly not been writing much of the lols as of late.

However, I just started a new account where I'll be putting up headshots, theatre projects and most things of a more serious nature.

I don't know how to do the profile linky thing, but the account is "WrightLight," so go check it out sometime!


Edit: Thanks Awesomeful_person!

:iconwrightlight: <- link :D
  • Listening to:
  • Reading: A Clash of Kings
  • Watching: how I met your mother
  • Playing: Replaying Bioshock
  • Eating: Qdoba
  • Drinking: Mountain Dew Voltage


Add a Comment:
Zombiezeatlove Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2011  Student Digital Artist
Happy birthday! Love your diary entries!!! Please do more! <321
Huesuelo Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
Much love released to your creations, what a clearance! I really loved the feeling I had while I read your work. Thank you!!
happygoatguy Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2010
Thank you muchly, Ma'am
lookingglassview Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2010
You are epic.
happygoatguy Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2010
Why thank you, ma'am!
GreyLynx Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2009  Student Photographer
Boogiepop1189 Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2009  Professional General Artist
You are a wonderful person. Just so you know.
happygoatguy Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2009
maniez106 Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2009

Sorry, I just have to say this "You are one hell of a funny guy... :rofl:
happygoatguy Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2009
why, thank you.
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